I was thinking not to long ago, "Everyone's life here is so bland and boring, and they're not being insanely awesome like myself. What can I do to remedy this unforgivable situation?" And then it hit me like a fucking train carrying napalm packed with a bunch of bikni babes, rockets, booze, and several homicidal clowns. "Holy shit," I thought, "I'll give these hobos a totally rectum crushing playlist of all the greatest fucking tunes Dargor has ever assembled, and share it with the teeming masses. Now, I know what you're thinking. "Holy shit LORDSOVEREIGNALMIGHTY (Bless his eternal reign) DARGOR, are you actually going to share with us the tunes you jam to rather then post a bunch of random youtube vids you happen to periodically bestow upon us?" And the answer I say to you is "Hell yeah bitch." Thats right, I'm gonna give you 100+ AWESOME AND totally XTREME songs that I party hard and party long to. I'm so fucking nice its killing me. I mean who actually does this shit? Me, thats who. I'm going to totally AWESOMEFY your dull and bland existence. The Pims of the world getting you down? Well fuck you world, THESE PEOPLE GOT MY EPIC PLAYLIST! Whats that? Your losing your ear virginity just by THINKING about getting your grubby paws on such greatness? Well shit man, its about to get even better. Each motherfuckin song is hand selected by yours truly, and shit it may as well be the SOUNDTRACK TO MY LIFE. I got just about EVERY fucking genre of music and the most obscure artists that I can't even find on youtube up in there. Jazz? Bitch I got it. Metal? Bitch ya know it. Reggae? Soundtrack? Classical? Some crazy ass genres YOU NEVER EVEN HEARD OF? FUCK YEAH I DO. I even have the tightest fucking ELEVATOR MUSIC you ever heard of. Holy shit,AWESOME ELEVATOR MUSIC? ARE YOU SHITTING ME? No, I am not shitting you. You know this shit is real. So you folks better put your listening hats on, because soon YOU TOO WILL BE GETTING YER HANDS on my TOTALLY RAD playlist. Available to the fine folks of whoever the fuck is reading this soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now please call 1-800-DARGOR-SOUND for a free trial.

That's pretty much what your post sounds like